Are You Manipulating at the Wrong Moment?
The word “manipulation” gets a bad rap. A recent golf lesson changed my point of view and has me thinking about leadership and success. The golf instructor helped me understand that a failure to skillfully manipulate early swing positions, leads to unskillful manipulation at the moment of truth: impact.
Most golfers are frequent, last-second manipulators. No, I’m not talking about what we do to get a hall pass for 5 hours on the weekend. It’s when something gets out of position in the swing, sometimes even before the swing starts, and as a result we must manipulate the hands, body and club to ‘save’ the shot. That last minute ‘save’ sometimes gets the job done, but usually leads us to repeat inefficient patterns that kill consistency, scoring, and fun.
Ever see this in our business? The last-minute shuffle of resources, calling in a favor, making an unplanned trade-off, creating positive spin or excuses, apologizing as needed to get back in good graces. Even with a good business outcome, hitting the sale percentage or retention numbers, something just felt off. The rhythm wasn’t quite right, something felt forced, uncomfortable, or inauthentic. What level of manipulation showed up (and when) to contribute to this outcome?
Reclaim Manipulation as a Skillful Tool
Then there are the golf swings that feel effortless. The ball flies far and straight, and the swing is balanced and rhythmic. Just like the sale day that ran like clockwork, the data integration project that made sense all along, or a client visit that energized everyone. Not that mistakes or challenges or hard work didn’t show up. Not that everyone agreed or got what they wanted. But the moment of truth proceeded smoothly and as unforced as it could in those circumstances. What were the keys to this success?
If your brain went to “preparation” then we are on the same wavelength. Good golfers do drills to reinforce fundamentals and create feedback loops that help them implement important changes. This is not objectively fun work for most people, and surprise, it often feels like: Manipulation. This is also a success secret of the most consistent remarketing professionals. They are using the positive, skillful version of manipulation to prepare far ahead of the critical, high-impact moments that define outcomes.
Recognizing when manipulation shows up most often for you is the first step in understanding how to reframe that energy positively. Clear awareness here also helps us tailor the preparation work that would best serve our unique circumstances. Famed golf psychologist Bob Rotella leans heavily on the competence model created by Noel Burch, a great resource for all of us:
Unconscious Incompetence: This is where we are unaware of our blind spots or the deficiencies in our skills, usually when we are learning something brand new. We don’t know what we don’t know. Key Opportunities: Training, development, supervision, and appropriate expectation setting.
Conscious Incompetence: Honest awareness of the skills needing more development. We know more, but aren’t excelling yet. Key Opportunities: Low stakes opportunities for practice, bite-sized goal setting, celebrating wins.
Conscious Competence: This is a critical stage where many get stuck in frustration, feeling entitled toward stage 4. We know what to do, but it takes immense, technical focus to execute. Key Opportunities: Coaching and other more nuanced feedback measures, repetition, constructive reflection about wins and fails.
Unconscious Competence: This is where the good “autopilot” kicks in. We trust ourselves and our skills because of the foundational work we’ve done, and those skills flow with little conscious effort. Key Opportunities: Visioning, grounded authenticity, innovation, and new opportunities.
Think about the critical moments that arise in your job:
Important client meetings
Employee performance discussions
Sale decisions in the auction lane where seconds count
Executive presentations
What do you wish was easier? What foundational and preparatory work can you “manipulate” to move in the direction of unconscious competence in the moments that matter?
Bridging the gap from one level of competence to the next is hard enough. Engaging a trained and trusted ally in the form of a coach can drive clarity, build confidence, and help cement a plan you believe in, supporting your journey to the next level.
Joe Miller is the Founder of Awareness to Action Coaching where he empowers our industry and the community with coaching and content for current and future leaders. After 15 years in the heart of our industry as an executive at AutoIMS, Joe brings a unique understanding of the remarketing industry and a passion for helping leaders reach their potential. You can see more of Joe’s content on LinkedIn or schedule time with him directly or contact Joe with questions.